What’s with the Mets?

I have to keep repeating this to myself: I can’t control how the Mets play, and they play very badly. It’s like the stock market nowadays. Down, up, down, slightly up, down, down, down and mostly down.

Let’s start at the bottom, literally, the one spot. The pitching is being held together by band aid. Jacob DeGrom went down with injury, but will start, Syndergaard, injured, Stroman, opted out, Steven Matz, horse …. , Walter Lockett, cow …. , Rick Porcello, bust, Michael Wacha, IL. We have David Peterson single handedly holding this rotation together.

Catcher: Wilson Ramos, who I sent a very nice DM on Instagram after he missed the tag that anyone with an IQ above 7 and who’s not a spastic could’ve made, to sell the game. He’s also been atrocious at the plate, hitting under .200 with one homer? No. Then, Tomas Nido, who made his swing better in the offseason and is better defensively, who was a lifer in the minor leagues, up until now. But, I don’t know why Luis Rojas is even thinking about giving Ramos another try.

First Base: Mhhh, Dominic Smith, mhhhhh. He has 6 home runs this year, and that’s in the top 10 in baseball. And Mr. Sophomore Slump Pete Alonso has picked up the past week but still playing like he’s hung over.

Second Base: “Glass Man” Robinson Cano, who came off the IL recently, has been better than expected. The backup, all defensive player Luis Guillorme, who doesn’t have the word offense in his vocabulary, is ok.

Shortstop: Yes, finally, sparkplug Andres Gimenez, who’s actually good, is carrying the offense, he’s fast, with six stolen bases and hitting .268. All I’m waiting for is his first home run, he’s not a power guy, but he’s so good. Watch out, Pete Alonso and Jake DeGrom, Gimenez is coming for you on my favorite player list.

Here it is: David Wright (no question), Pete Alonso, Jake DeGrom, Michael Conforto and Andres Gimenez.

Third Base: It’s a mess over there, like a big one. We have JD Davis, who is a solid hitter, but then Jeff McNeil enters: he’s a contact machine, I personally like McNeil in left and JD at third to maximize offense.

Left Field: We have Jeff McNeil, who’s amazing, Squirrel is a great hitter and he plays as hard as the next guy on his team alphabetically, oh no, Steven %#^$# Matz is there, other way maybe? Tomas Nido, yes, he plays as hard as the next guy. And if he can learn how to play left, then, no question, he’s one of the best players on this team.

Center Field: Brandon Nimmo, I like him, he works the count, annoys the pitcher, but the happiest player on the team just isn’t having a good year, much like his whole team. Nimmo also isn’t the greatest defensively and has a muffin arm, girls scouts throw better than Nims. And selling cookies is a really competitive sport.

Right Field: Michael Conforto, he’s hitting .313 and he’s a great offensive initiator, you’re not going to get anything bad out of him. But, he’s also not Mookie Betts, but I’m not complaining, he’s hitting .313, as rare a sight on the Mets as a Dallas Cowboys fan not saying, “It’s our Year.”

Bullpen: Guaranteed, a Senior Living Facility Bingo Team plays better than these guys. Edwin Diaz, Justin Wilson and Seth Lugo (surprisingly) all blow the game when it’s in the bag. I want to feel it’s like investing in the stock market, be patient, but without a serious makeover, this department is done for.

A general baseball talk and the basketball playoffs (which start today!) coming next time.