Crystal Ball Ahead of Super Bowl LVI
Nobody predicted this Super Bowl, nobody did. Nobody was saying the Bengals would make the playoffs, or finish in the top half of their division. Everyone thought that Ja’Marr Chase was a bust a week into the preseason. Some thought Joe Burrow wouldn’t ever be great because he blew out his knee a year before. He blew his knee out because of their bad offensive line that they didn’t really bother to upgrade. The Bengals' defense didn’t have anyone on defense to be a juggernaut. For the Rams, nobody had a solid opinion on Matt Stafford. The Rams lost their starting running back, Cam Akers, in the preseason, to a torn Achilles (he’s back). Who thought Cooper Kupp would be so good? Nobody did and I mean he was good, like over 1,900 receiving yards and OPOY good. Who knew OBJ wasn’t going to be happy in Cleveland so he gets traded midseason and adds yet another to their offense? And everyone knew the defense was going to smother all opposing offenses.
This is going to be a very close game. Two weeks ago, nobody
thought it was going to be close, as we get nearer and nearer to the Super
Bowl, it’s getting closer and closer.
The veteran Matt Stafford versus everybody’s new favorite
player, Joe Burrow. Both teams will need to mix up their game plans. The Rams
are the much better team on paper, but so were the Chiefs.
For you bettors out there, there are some great props out
there, just need to find the right ones.
But by far, the most fun ones are the coin flip prediction
and the Gatorade color the couch is going to take a shower in after the game.
My predictions:
Tails and Orange
Some more is the time it takes to sing the national anthem:
Over or under 95 secs. It’s the over, don’t overthink it.
Jersey Number of the 1st Touchdown Scorer: Over or
under 23.5. It’s the under, you have Joe Burrow rushing it in, Cooper Kupp,
Odell Beckham Jr, Ja’Marr Chase and Cam Akers.
Odell Beckham and CJ Uzomah will both score anytime in the
game.
Stat Predictions (there’s like a 1% chance I get any of
these right, but hey, it’s fun)
Joe Burrow: 302 yds, 2 TDs, 1 INT
Matt Stafford: 254 yds, 3 TDs
Cam Akers: 70 yds
Joe Mixon: 43 yds
Ja’Marr Chase: 93 Rec yds, 7 rush yds, 1 touchdown
Cooper Kupp: 84 rec yds, 1 touchdown
Odell Beckham Jr.: 64 rec yds, 11 rush yards, 1 touchdown
Van Jefferson: 54 rec yds, 1 touchdown
Tee Higgins: 82 rec yds
CJ Uzomah: 56 yds, 1 touchdown
Tyler Boyd: 52 rec yds
Evan McPherson: 3 FGs
Rams total team sacks: 4
Bengals total team sacks: 1
Jalen Ramsey: The only interception
Finally:
Bengals +4 is going to hit. The Bengals are going to win.
There is no explanation needed. The Bengals are the hottest team in the NFL and
Joe Shiesty will produce.
I so badly want to see a high-scoring game, and I think
that’s what we’re going to see. The over for points, easy.
Score Prediction:
Bengals 34, Rams 31.
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